Time on My Hands

Otherwise known as I have no life.

167,043 notes


my 6-year-olds were upset because i taught them ‘television’ and they were like NO TEACHER IT’S A TV

so i wrote ‘television’ on the board and highlighted “T” and “V” and they reacted like i’d just taught them the secrets of the universe

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

43 notes

Arthur has the most successful relationship of anyone I know, with a wonderful woman. Which, honestly, is still a mystery to me. Like, was it a hypnosis accident or something, where they put Gwen under and made her fall in love with Arthur and never said the magic word to snap her out of it? Like if I say “nutmeg”, will she wake up and start screaming?
Gwaine, Gwaine (via totallycorrectmerlinquotes)

156,705 notes


I’m trying hard to live by Cat Principles.

1. I am glorious above all things
2. Eat when hungry, sleep when sleepy, play when bored
3. Affection is given and received on my terms and only mine
4. Show displeasure clearly.
5. NO
6. Demand the things you want. If they aren’t given, demand them again, but louder this time.
7. If you are touched when you don’t want to be, say so. If they continue to touch you, make them bleed.

(via destroyer-drax)

238,240 notes



"i’m a nice guy, why don’t bitches like me"

well son, let me tell you about the birds and the bees. i have 100 birds and 100 bees in this box. they’re angry. i’m opening the box. they’re coming for you

an interesting amount of people condone setting angry bees and birds on fake nice guys

(via fall-out-boy)

133,747 notes


i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him  this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked

(via letusrisetotaketheirplace)